So did you ever get the urge to go down to the hardware & party supply store and pick up a tank of helium and some balloons, set up your lawn chair tie the inflated balloons to the chair (taking all 7 Harry Potter books with you of course) and sail away on a light off shore breeze let's say oh... about 30 miles out to sea?



Well that's exactly what the Rev. Adelir Antonio de Carli ( a Roman Catholic Priest) decided to do to raise money . "The priest was trying to break a 19-hour record for the most hours flying with balloons to fund a spiritual rest stop for truckers in Paranagua, home to Brazil's largest grain port. Brazilian truckers often spend days waiting to unload in the port, especially during the busy soy export season now under way."(thanks msnbc)



Apparently the truckers have to spend several days in Paranagua during the harvest season. At the time of this blog we were unable to determine what exactly would be in the rest stop a Wendy's, a Burger King or a Blimpe. Personally I'm not a fan of Wendy's burgers so I'm all for the Blimpie.



The Reverend was planning on floating to a neighboring city of Dourdos 465 miles away however the wind blew him 30 miles out to sea in the opposite direction. The Revered was wearing protective gear and a parachute. He is a reported to be an experienced sky diver, however the balloons were all that was found when rescuers arrived. It is believed he is alive though and several candle light vigil's have taken place. The truckers in the mean time are hoping for a Burger King.

So yesterday I was domestic. I cleaned, I washed ,I dusted and Mrs Smeag said I sounded like a Mom when I got on Smeag Jr. about leaving dirty dishes in the sink. Honestly what woman hasn't gotten on the kids after cleaning up after them all day and the they come home and don't even have the courtesy to rise out the most delicious salsa that I slaved away at for at least 15mins of food chopping adventure. So Ladies here's my famous Salsa Recipe. Fix it for you man and they will start doing dishes and washing clothes. (not guaranteed in Alabama,Texas, or Detroit. Offer good while supply's last)

2 cans of hunts diced tomatoes (used the onion and green pepper seasoned ones)
1/4 cup to 1/2 cup of chopped cilantro ( use as much as you think you need)
1/2 a white onion
2 shallots
2-3 green onions sliced
1-2 jalepenos (to make it mild slice out the white veins this is where the spicy capsaicin is, this will also remove the seeds. )

I like to use a really sharp knife and cut it all up fine myself (but I'm old school at times). A good food chopper or blender works just as well. Although Cilantro is actually better if you use a pair of sharp scissors and cut it like making confetti. Try to make it the night before and or chill it for 3-4 hours.

For and extra treat get a package of white corn tortillas and cut them in to small triangles and fry them up in some Crisco Vegetable oil ( It won't harden you arteries, it's not lard) and you have home made chips and salsa. Make sure the oil is as hot as you can get it or the chips will be soggy.

I read a great article today from Forbes Magazine,by Scott Reeves on 7 things to do with your tax return. Although they don't actually give you 7 different things to do with your tax return I thought it might be fun to take it to the extreme. The average tax return this year is $2,371 So here's my list of 7 things to do with your tax return:

1. Buy 600 Happy Meals and give the toys to needy kids.

2. Play 4742 games of PAC MAN.

3. Bail out a random criminal.

4. Buy 1185 bags of Micro Popcorn and fill up a friends car.

5. If you were to weigh 150 lbs you could ship your self to Moscow,Russia only paying $300 more than your return.

6. Buy 2 sets of TaylorMade 2008 r7 CGB Max 3-PW Iron Set with Steel Shaft (one for the wife)


7. Book a 1 room Artisan Suite In Disney's Grand California Hotel & Spa with for 3 days of Disney fun and fantasy.



All this could be yours if you were to give the United States Government a 1 year interest free loan of $2,371. Just remember that Uncle Sam does have a convenient payment plan at your local employer for all your wasted tax dollars.

Tonight Randy Johnson will be pitching against the San Francisco Giants. I can't wait! I am not a big sports fan but I have come to love baseball. It's like politics slow and never ending at times and then picks up speed like a E ride at Disneyland. Going to games is even more fun, especially in the BOB (now Chase field). Indoors in a air conditioned wonder, with pool. I've sat in just about every place there is to sit there from cheap sits to the outfield to the box seats. I haven't sat behind home plate yet so if any one is going and wants to take me along feel free to let me know, I do need at least 3 hrs notice though. Hey time to fire up the grill for some hot dogs and burgers this is going to be a great year!

BEFORE

I couldn't think of anything to blog about do I decide to brainwash you all and make you like one of my favorite movies I do not own and would make a wonderful fathers day , birthday, Christmas, Hanukkah ,Kwanzaa or just a surprise gift. Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" If you have ever read the books you will find you self utter baffled at Douglas Adam's British wit and comic penmanship. Really what could be more funny than a robot that was programed with manic depressed order and a fleet of Volgons construction ships ready to blow up the earth to make way for a Intergalactic super highway. Which the plans have been on display for the last hundred years in the planning and zoning department. Enjoy some clips and wonder at that which we call British humor explaining the meaning of life 42.

Human fossilized feces has been discovered in a cave in Oregon recently that dates back to 14,000 years ago. Human DNA was extracted from the petrified poop which finally proves humans lived in Oregon earlier than has been recorded before. I want to state for the record it was NOT ME. I know that given my history that I may be the first accused of "dropping the kids off at the pool" and not picking them up but I promise it was in no way me that left DNA in that cave. Well not that cave, but that's because I have never lived in Oregon for more that a week. I admit that I was there for a week in 1990 but it was on Great Grandmother Smeag's couch. Which by the way smelled of ....well "old people" .



I don't all together know if the claims are true anyway. I mean how do we not know some pot head, tree hugging Birkenstock wearing Hippie probably wound up smoking some "natural herbage" and fell face down in the poo drooling excessively. DNA can end up in the weirdest places.