Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Police in Waycross,GA questioned a class of 3rd graders about a plot to kill there Teacher. The Students were "rounded" up ( like they have fast get away cars) on Friday morning after a tip that the young female suspected mastermind behind the plot was suspected of having a weapon at school. Police found a broken steak knife, handcuffs, duct tape, electrical and transparent tape, ribbons and a crystal paper weight. Supposedly the students were going to use these items against their teacher. It's also rumoured they had a jar of A-1 steak sauce, and a Sponge Bob Square Pants t-Shirt they got at the dollar store. The plan was to give the teacher a bad hair do, and remove the hair from her upper lip with the duct tape before killing her(pulling it off slowly) .
Unfortunately the kids are too young to be prosecuted but are having to write 100 times each " I will not plan a murder kidnap plot during school hours". The mastermind behind the plot is also being sent to anger counseling during which she will have to watch 100 hrs of "Teletubbie" reruns. This should shut down all desire to do evil and save the world from global warming.
Rumor has it that the creators of South Park have already gotten the rights to the 3rd graders stories and will be airing an episode which recreates the plotting, but their will be a twist and Britney Spears will play the receptionist that saves the day.