"Breaking Dawn" Is Coming And It Can't Be Stopped  

Monday, July 28, 2008

***UpDATE: phill.com article

Only four days left until the next book in Stephanie Meyer's thrilling "Twilight" series is released and we can't do anything to stop it. So We here at Listen to Precious are providing a public service announcement to all who will inevitably read "Breaking Dawn". Please adhere to the following precautions before reading:

  • Find a good soft comfortable reading position ( A Park Bench or Stone Outcropping could cause serious bruising).
  • Good Lighting is essential ( I suggest a head lamp as this will probably not wake up your spouse as you stay up late reading).
  • Hydration ( I suggest 2 bottles of water to every 44 oz of Dr Pepper ).
  • Have a roll of Duct Tape Handy( If another in your household has already read it before you and you don't want any spoilers like " I can't believe Bella bites...".
  • Call in sick to work ( Don't worry your boss is reading it too).
  • For wives with Husbands who wont be reading it buy him Monster Truck Rally tickets.
  • For Husbands with wives who wont be reading it... no wait that wont happen never mind.
  • DO NOT IGNORE CHILDREN( Leave plenty of cold cereal and Disney movies with in reach)
  • If you are going to be reading outside make sure to wear sunscreen (You could end up with tan line shape like the book on you face)
  • Bathroom breaks(For the guys) it's OK to take your book with just remember to SIT DOWN.
  • And Finally when you get to the end stop.

*This has been a public service announcement from listentoprecious.blogspot.com your source for realistic news,information, and sound advice.

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I'm IT -Tag  

Monday, July 21, 2008

Sometimes being corny means more than eating corn on the cob.

My ABC's
A- Attached or single? Attached
B- Best friend? Well does Me, Myself and I count?
C- Cake or pie? Cherry Pie Ala-Mode
D- Day of choice? Sunday Afternoons
E- Essential item? Cell Phone unfortunately
F- Favorite color? Green
G- Gummy Bears or Worms? EWWW
H- Hometown? Thatcher
I- Favorite indulgence? Brownies
J- January or July? July
K- Kids? One
L- Life isn't complete without? Clean Shorts
M- Marriage date? 04/26/96
N -Number of Siblings? 1 Brother 1 Sister
O- Oranges or apples? Does Apple Cobbler Count?
P- Phobia and fears? Lutraphobia- Fear of otters
Q- Quote? “I’m OK!” Kronk –Emperors New Groove
R- Reason to smile? A Nice MLT –Mutton Lettuce Tomato, where the mutton is nice and lean~ Miracle Max “The Princes Bride”S- Season of choice? Spring
T- Tag 10 people: Your IT! I only have 10 readers
U- Unknown fact about me? I can impersonate Goofy, and Elmer Fud
V- Vegetable? Avocado
W- Worst habit? Listening to the Voices
X- Xanthophobia- Fear of the color yellow or the word yellow (Xylophone was taken)
Y- Your favorite food? Fresh Salsa and Chips
Z- Zodiac sign? Sagittarius

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Olympics Communism Style:  

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Complimentary Police Escort

The Marines Are Alway First In And Last Out.

For those liberals out there surfing the blogosphere I wanted to go over a few items that the hosts of the 2008 Summer Olympics has put on the agenda to ease your worried minds about visiting there in August. That's right China our communist friends across the pacific are gearing up to be your prison guard host for August.

  1. The Chinese Government has shut down non essential factories to reduce CO2 emissions ( Don't worry the lead based paint factories are still up and running)

  2. China will bar politically minded entertainers ( These would be entertainers who think Communism is a bad thing, Barbara Streisand still gets a red carpet)

  3. All Migrant workers, beggars and fortune tellers have been forced to leave the city (however political dignitaries will be allowed in ... go figure)

  4. DVD Stores have pulled all there pirated stock of movies (No chance of bringing home a copy of the Dark Knight)

  5. 1.5 Million people (Roughly the size of Phoenix) have been evicted so that Olympic buildings and parks could be built.

  6. Extra road blocks (to catch terrorist and guys selling t-shirts with "Free Tibet" on them)

  7. Athletes are not being allowed to leave the Olympic Village before they compete.

  8. 130,000 soldiers and "volunteers" cleared beaches of an unexpected algae bloom( Can you say too much dead fish)

  9. Government officials have implemented a NO AFRICAN policy for bars and restaurants(Wheres AL Shaprten?)

  10. Missile Launchers at the main entry points to the Olympic areas .(Watch out for Jet Wash)

  11. All Banners and leaflets with with religious, political, military, human-rights or environmental themes have been BANNED

  12. Television Media has been restricted to only scheduled approved events.

  13. All Know "Dissidents" have been detained ( Be Careful Code Pink Girls)

  14. And Finally all Dog Meat has been banned from the Restaurant menus.

Follow the links,if you dare, all of this reporting is coming from Western news agencies. Apparently they can't get enough of the crack down, they seem to suck up the communism with a straw like it were the last drops of a soda and all you hear is that loud slurping noise. Just remeber that if you watch the Olympics this summer it has a theme "One World One Dream" and its brought to you by the Peoples Republic of (Communist) China. Maybe it should be "One World One Red Dream". I just got goose bumps so I should better stop. If no one hears from me it's because I have been taken to a secret location by Black Ops Olympic Officials and made to eat Magic Chicken then run over with a tank, made to build a 5 story brick wall across the dessert, and then have to play with toys painted with lead based paint. Isn't communism great?

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From Corrugated Films:  

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

The next time thats you have nothing to blog about try looking through youtube for something funny and sure enough you will find it. Here's a low tech Star Wars you can make too.

Just make sure to save this years Christmas wrapping tubes.

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Rain Drops Are Falling On My Head?  

Friday, July 11, 2008

When is the last time you had a average temperature in the Arizona desert of 85 degrees? Say over the last two week. Rain is so wonderful in the dessert its not cold, its not hot it's just right. It does seem to make me need to wear a hat however. Bald guys and rain don't mix too well. Rain seems to roll right off into my eyes. Kind of like the first drop on a roller coaster. As I sit here now we are having a nice down pour 2-3 inches it seem, water was pouring off the roof looked like a miniature Niagara falls. Summer monsoon season in Arizona has been a little different this year. typically we get brief roaring, thunderous storms rolling across the dessert floor like waves pounding the rocks. This year we seem to have more tropical like weather, small rain showers mixed with a few thunder storms. Certainly enough thunder and lighting to make my dogs tail reach so far between his legs I've started wondering if he ever had one. So anyone looking for cooler nice weather let me know I certainly tell you where it is.

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